I was recently confronted on how far my success had come. I was actually a bit shocked when confronted, I had actually never thought of my sucess. He told me I was a loser even without responding to his question. I followed up his comment by telling, «I don´t consider myself a winner nor a loser. I have never really thought about it». I followed him in his questioning and turned the conversation around and asked him, «Do you have a Phd?». He told me, «No, but I am studying law». This made me think about the concept of success and how it is defined.
Loser, and happy not being or living in the role defined for you.
Clearly, he asked me about my success which is defined from his understanding, experience, values and goals in life. Studying law is to him the same as to me having a Phd, which is why I asked him that question. Having a Phd is what I define as having a success, and according to my shallow definition of success, I´m not successfull. Alas, I am also a loser.
I never defined myself a loser, nor successfull. And I propably won´t start changing this as I see no reason doing so and degrading myself for others self-confidence. This might be wrong for me to say, but it´s the feeling I got when and how he asked me the question.
Success is linked to confidence in one self.
This might be why my confidence is quite high. I don´t live by the black and white understanding of life. «If I can´t succeed in this, I´m not worth anything», «If I don´t do this I will feel sad and like a failure», «If I don´t change this, my friends wont love me». I am at peace of mind almost all the time. I see the dynamics in our perception of others and their perception and response to our lives. Acknowledging these thoughts and our response to the other individual (which is an important word in this setting) is more worthfull in defining my life, success and happiness. I strive to be a good individual with charisma. I find the goodness in all people, no matter the education, job, social status or physical or mental challenges. I focus on this and being positive, there is a worth in every person.
Success as values, power and wealthness.
I think one of the main reasons one would want success, is to feel good about one self. But the close up reason would be wealth and power, success is linked to money, houses, cars, expencive stuff and real estates abroad. A person with a lot of power is usually also a very rich person. I don’t say that I don’t want all this stuff, but I don’t think it will boost my happinness or make me feel good about myself. Success is something you will need to work hard to keep, no matter what the success is from.
This may be thoughts from a simple mind and a average paid worker. And that’s why I won’t your comments about success; are you successfull? How do you define success? How does your success affect people around you, and how does other peoples success affect you?